Twitter Is Dead And Has Been Dead For Years

 

 

This is a Facebook conversation I just had on a post linking to an article titled "Why Twitter’s Dying (And What You Can Learn From It)". I'm just going to copy/paste what I wrote with all the broken English, bad grammar, and poorly written sentences, just because I don't feel like fixing it. Well, maybe I'll fix it tomorrow when I read it again and start thinking about how idiotic and uneducated I sound, but right at this moment I don't care....

 

You're Posting Too Much On Facebook, Kid.

For the most part, as far as I know,  my Facebook friends don't have any problem with the number of  updates I share or their content,  but every once in a while I encounter someone who will criticize something about my Facebook usage.

Even when what they tell me is basically that I annoy them, the fact that they came forward and let me know is a good thing. Honesty is always good in my book.

I'm The Hashtag Police.

It's very likely I'm the only person in the world who gives a damn  about hashtags, or rather, their proper use, but wasting time thinking about useless stuff is not a new concept to me, as the two of you may have noticed. For a while now, I've been "correcting" people whenever they use hashtags wrong. The typical response I get is "I don't care and I use hashtags however I want", which is a fair point. I still think people should know how to use hashtags properly so I'm going to waste several minutes writing this article which no one will ever read or care about.

Social Media Experts Have No Soul

When Twitter was the king of social sites you would hear complaints like "it has little content" and "most posts were useless". You would even hear that on the news with numbers and statistics. Who were complaining? The experts. The "social media experts". Fortunately for them, things have changed. Welcome to the social media expert hell! Where it's not about you, but about... the fastest and more effective way to build an audience to market a product to?

I Miss Conversations

I can't remember the last time I sat down and had a long and interesting conversation with a friend, it's been months. But it's even more depressing that it's probably been years since I had conversations with friends on a regular basis. There are many reasons for this, I suppose. Is it my own fault? I don't know, I think during the past few months I've been doing my best to get out of my cave to socialize, communicate, and connect with people. The key word is "connect". It's not happening anymore.

Addendum To: Twitter Etiquette According To ce54r

I missed a few tips or "rules" on my last post, but fear not, my friends, because I am here to guide you through the Twitterverse so you don't end up looking like an ass.

Shall we begin?

a. Stop posting links. I'm not sure how I missed this one, since it's so obvious. Perhaps it was because I kinda talked about it. Either way, some Twitter accounts are supposed to post links, that's why they are called "funny videos" or "bizarre news", but if the account is a "human" account, then post something about you or what you do, otherwise it will be another boring linker Twitter profile.

b. Comment on the posts of the people you follow. It happens often that someone who you have no clue what they are about starts following you, so you don't start following right away and wait until this person writes something that will give you any hint about who they are. But they don't. These people should at least @reply you to show they have interest in what you have to say. If you start following anyone, even if they don't follow you back right away, just say something, goddammit! Otherwise we will think you're just blind-following random people and we won't follow you back.

c. Don't look too professional in your avatar, but do have one. Guys in suit and tie freak me out, and girls with modeling pictures scare me. Why? Because these are typically the types of avatar that spammers, linkers, and "social media marketers" use. Same goes with any other too professional looking picture. However, any picture is better than none. There's nothing worse that someone who looks like is hiding from "something". There are too many freaks out there not to be paranoid.

d. Curse. Yes, curse a lot, spice it up. Write fuck, shit, cunt, bitch, asshole, etc. And don't bother to censor your cursing adding lame asterisks. What's the point? Everyone knows you totally meant to say "fuck" if you write "f**k". We all know you have a dirty mind, you're not fooling anyone but yourself. Make sure you check how much you're cursing at cursebird.com. If you are going to censor your cursing, then replace the offending word with one less offensive. For example:

What the frack, instead of "what the fuck".

Bob Saget, instead of "Goddammit".

e. Detail you #followfridays. Every Friday I get to see dozens of people getting "followfridayed", but I have no clue what they do or who they are. You will have to go to each one of those people's profiles and read what the fuck they do, and sometimes that can be a pain in the ass. For this reason, every Friday I decided I was going to only pick 3 people, and give a short description on their background and why other people should start following them. Let's say I like to pimp well my bitches.


That's pretty much it, my darlings. I apologize for being absent minded on my last post.


Your friend always,

Cesar

Twitter Etiquette According To ce54r

I'm sure you have already read several posts on your Twitter timeline about "how to be a successful at Twitter". It seems they never stop, so you get to read over and over again the things that, in my opinion, are rather obvious to anyone who's been on that social network for a little bit. There are no secrets, just common sense. A lot of the people who continuously post links to that kind of information are people who seem to have only one goal: get a shitload of followers, no matter who they are or what they do. Pretty lame.