I missed a few tips or "rules" on my last post, but fear not, my friends, because I am here to guide you through the Twitterverse so you don't end up looking like an ass.
Shall we begin?
a. Stop posting links. I'm not sure how I missed this one, since it's so obvious. Perhaps it was because I kinda talked about it. Either way, some Twitter accounts are supposed to post links, that's why they are called "funny videos" or "bizarre news", but if the account is a "human" account, then post something about you or what you do, otherwise it will be another boring linker Twitter profile.
b. Comment on the posts of the people you follow. It happens often that someone who you have no clue what they are about starts following you, so you don't start following right away and wait until this person writes something that will give you any hint about who they are. But they don't. These people should at least @reply you to show they have interest in what you have to say. If you start following anyone, even if they don't follow you back right away, just say something, goddammit! Otherwise we will think you're just blind-following random people and we won't follow you back.
c. Don't look too professional in your avatar, but do have one. Guys in suit and tie freak me out, and girls with modeling pictures scare me. Why? Because these are typically the types of avatar that spammers, linkers, and "social media marketers" use. Same goes with any other too professional looking picture. However, any picture is better than none. There's nothing worse that someone who looks like is hiding from "something". There are too many freaks out there not to be paranoid.
d. Curse. Yes, curse a lot, spice it up. Write fuck, shit, cunt, bitch, asshole, etc. And don't bother to censor your cursing adding lame asterisks. What's the point? Everyone knows you totally meant to say "fuck" if you write "f**k". We all know you have a dirty mind, you're not fooling anyone but yourself. Make sure you check how much you're cursing at cursebird.com. If you are going to censor your cursing, then replace the offending word with one less offensive. For example:
What the frack, instead of "what the fuck".
Bob Saget, instead of "Goddammit".
e. Detail you #followfridays. Every Friday I get to see dozens of people getting "followfridayed", but I have no clue what they do or who they are. You will have to go to each one of those people's profiles and read what the fuck they do, and sometimes that can be a pain in the ass. For this reason, every Friday I decided I was going to only pick 3 people, and give a short description on their background and why other people should start following them. Let's say I like to pimp well my bitches.
That's pretty much it, my darlings. I apologize for being absent minded on my last post.
Your friend always,
Cesar
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