80's Synth Pop Bonanza

While doing my routinary video search for my HAPPY MORNINGS! updates, I stumbled upon a hidden treasure from the 80's pop music scene that completely surprised me, because I've never heard of any of these, uhmmm, "artists" before. I thought that knowing who Baltimora was and remembering the melody of his song, Tarzan Boy, meant that there was no cheesy 80's song that you couldn't find in some old dusty corner of my mind. Boy, I was wrong. There's not only a few songs, but a complete catalog of music (and videos). The deeper I dug, the more, uhmmm, amazing they got. I felt like Indiana Jones in a music archeological adventure, and I'm so excited to share my findings with the world, I just hope the world is ready to learn that these were some of the artists that once were part of the structure that sustained pop music. They may not be the most important ones, but they were there, in between New Order and Depeche Mode and Culture Club and Madonna, which to me is just fascinating. OK, enough introduction, let's reveal these gems I've found:




The Karate Synth Mullet Guy: This was the very first jewel I found. How genius is this? At what point do you think "Eureka! Let's combine karate and synth music and we'll have a hit!". I must confess, I do like this song, for some odd reason, and you can tell this dude has some serious keyboard playing skills plus he must be in really good shape. Maybe synths helped him with his Karate and not the other way around. Highlight: this song is themed around Star Wars, and the little jumps he does around 54 seconds are awesome.




Wonder Woman And... Some Gay Nerd: Around 56 seconds you can read "Nr. 1", does this mean this was a number one hit in the country where this was released? I don't know. Whatever the case, this is a song about vampires, and it's terrifying, but don't you fear, because Wonder Woman and that whatever-guy are here to protect you. You can't possibly watch this and not think "what the fuck is this dude doing here?". The chick barely made it, but she could pass as part of a really bad video, but the dude simply does not belong here. Highlight: the dude's moves are amazing(ly funny) but sadly, they don't belong to this video either.




The "Other" Joy: They couldn't just rip off New Order's music, but they had to steal the name just to make it clear there was nothing original about them. This song is not bad, though, but it's obviously manufactured cheese. Highlight: it would be a bit more credible if they had a keyboard player.




The Band That Really Wanted To Make It: And they did. Unfortunately, they tried too hard and ended up having zero credibility. They were probably a real band that a label found just to impose every single cliche from that period of time. Highlight: what's a silent circle? Is this some kinda reference for gay in the closet? Touch in the night, bam!

The "Real" Barbie: This is just terrible. Cheese, cheese, and more cheese, and how were people able to eat it without any lactose intolerance supplement? I don't know, but they did, at least where this is from, which seems to be Germany. Highlight: girls in bikini and full make up playing frisbee in front of an awesome beach video montage. Can't get any better than that.




The Reason For The Berlin Wall: it wasn't enough having the real Barbie, they had to come up with this. I can totally understand the Berlin Wall now. I would have never wanted to be on the same side as this dude. Highlight: the whole thing, I mean, look at him.




Lady VeeVee: She's edgy, she's sexual, she's artistic, she's "original", she's hot, she's pop music, a visionary, etc, etc, etc. In other words, she's what Lady Gaga is now, but in Italy during the 80's. Highlight: the dudes in bondage gear behind her with the most bizarre moves I've ever seen. It's almost traumatic.




The Red Flamingo: OMG! Highlight: OMG!




If Full House Was A Band: it would still be a comedy, right? This is simply amazing, and this has to be the inspiration for this. There's no other way. Highlight: discovering this was popular somewhere at some point blows my mind away.





There were many other videos I found, perhaps they will be part of another blog post. In the mean time, think about this, what "artists" from today are filling the space left by the "artists" from these videos? Because they are there, and they will always be there as long as record labels or money control the music industry.