Clarification: When I write, I don't prepare or organize my ideas, I just write what I would say if I was talking to you in person, so sometimes my blogs end up a little messy. I don't even proof-read what I write before posting it so you may find grammatical mistakes and poorly written sentences. Sometimes I'll read my blogs a day or two after publishing them and I may re-write things that weren't too clear and any embarrassing grammatical mistake. Also, English is not my first language, so I apologize if reading my blogs become a struggle. Of course, if this is the case, I would imagine you wouldn't continue reading.

Sep 22, 2013

The Love For Abuse

Sometimes you wonder why some people remain by the side of their abusive lovers. You've probably been in situations where a friend or someone you know will tell you how bad they are being treated by their partners, how their self-esteem has vanished, and even provide details of the many unacceptable situations they have experienced because of this person, situations no one else in the world would put up with. So you being the good friend you are, decide to provide the only good advice there is in this type of situations, even if you know it may hurt them, but if they have become so blind they can't see it for themselves, it's your duty as a friend to show them the truth. The harsh, ugly, and obvious truth.

"If everything you are telling me is true, then your partner is nothing more than an asshole that you don't really want to be with, because they don't love you, or respect you, or even stand you at all. Stop eating shit, my friend, and end it right away".


Even the most social handicapped person will be able to add 2 and 2, and the magic spell won't have any control over them anymore. Looking you in the eye, they will accept the truth that you have revealed to them, and they will say they'll be forever grateful for being such an honest and good friend. They have made up their minds, they'll say, they will end the relationship ASAP, and there's so much conviction in their words that you believe them. You're proud, proud of your friend and proud of yourself, and you feel good.

Next thing you know about the situation (your fiend's situation, not the Jersey Shore douche), is that your friend still is with that horrible person they told you about, or even crazier, it's almost like whatever your friend told you never happened. Did you dreamed it? Suddenly, the power of love performed yet another miracle worthy of fairy tales and Meg Ryan movies.

So you wait patiently for the first chance to talk to your friend in private, because you want to know what happened. You make a serious effort to hide your wtf? face because you don't want to make them feel uncomfortable, but you really need to know. It may be something serious, perhaps they've been on a binge of Xanax and alcohol and can't remember anything past the last 5 minutes, that's one of the very few things that makes sense, so who knows?

When you get to talk to them they will tell you smiling how big their love is, and how things suddenly changed, and even when you try to remind them of all the unacceptable things their partner did, things that no one would or should forgive, they don't seem to care. In fact, it doesn't even register, it's like they've become selectively deaf.

Now you feel like a dumbass.

It only takes a week or two, and the cycle begins again, and it repeats so many times it gets boring. There's a point when this strange loop is so advanced that it doesn't even get to the sudden magical happy time, but it's just abuse after abuse after abuse, but your friend doesn't even consider the possibility of leaving, which is the only rational choice they can make.

But why? You ask yourself. Why would anyone choose to eat so much shit? There are no simple answers, I'm afraid, I have asked myself that question many times, and I really don't know. Some situations are more mysterious than others, but there's something really bizarre in all of them. I have several theories, but the two at the top of my list are the following:

1. Your friend's partner is actually a good person, but your friend's insecurities are a bit out of control, which results in exaggerated stories aimed to collect the sympathy. In reality, the issues are not as bad as your friend makes them sound, which explains the apparent sudden 180 degrees turns in circumstances.

2. Your friend's partner is an asshole or bitch, but has a sold gold cock or a velvet vacuum pussy. I don't think this theory requires an explanation.

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