Clarification: When I write, I don't prepare or organize my ideas, I just write what I would say if I was talking to you in person, so sometimes my blogs end up a little messy. I don't even proof-read what I write before posting it so you may find grammatical mistakes and poorly written sentences. Sometimes I'll read my blogs a day or two after publishing them and I may re-write things that weren't too clear and any embarrassing grammatical mistake. Also, English is not my first language, so I apologize if reading my blogs become a struggle. Of course, if this is the case, I would imagine you wouldn't continue reading.

May 9, 2010

Technical Truths Are Still Lies

If someone tells you "I don't lie" it doesn't mean they've never lied, therefore, it doesn't mean they will not lie. Saying "I don't lie" is in most cases already a lie, so you might as well remain skeptical and keep your eyes opened, because saying this could be a sign that they have something to hide.

Some people think that saying something that is technically true is always honest, even when they are aware that the person who they are telling this to is getting a distorted or incomplete picture of whatever subject they are talking about. This is what I call a technical truth.

Most of us have been subjects of technical truths at one point or another, and most of us have also used technical truths. I've been in both sides of technical truths, and I've also witnessed their use many times, in person between third parties, and in movies and TV. The reason they are used are many, as many as the reasons plain lies are used, in fact, I think both are used for the same exact reasons.

The peculiar aspect of technical truths is that the people using them feel at peace with themselves because since what they said was technically true, they think their "honesty record" remains unaffected. "Oh, I never lied to you, it was you who came to that conclusion on your own", right? I've heard that so many times, that I think the word "fool" must be written on my forehead. If you try explaining why placed in context it didn't translate into the actual truth, but something else, you'll get an apology from them for not being more "clear". They still walk away feeling good about themselves and their honesty rank.

I'm going to have to break it down for all of you, both technical truths givers and takers: technical truths are not honest under any circumstances, period. I don't like lying, but just like most people in the world, for one reason or another, I've lied every now and then and I will probably lie. While I prefer brutal honesty, if someone I don't know very well asks me if I think they look fat or pretty wearing whatever outfit and I don't think they do, I will probably just lie and say they don't look fat or they look wonderful in such outfit. Why would I put myself in a situation that could get really fucking ugly if I didn't lie? However, you better think before asking me such questions if you're my friend, because I will tell you the truth. But if I have to lie, then I will, and I will lie to your face, and while in the surface this might seems less acceptable than a technical truth, the truth is that a technical truth is a double lie, and it's worse than a plain lie, because you're not only deceiving the other person, but you're also deceiving yourself by believing you're being honest.

Remember this next time you find yourself in front of either side of a technical truth, or when you're thinking about how honest you are or the other person is.

That's it, my dear friends, the two or three of you who read these blogs, I hope you have learned a little bit more about yourselves.

By the way, when I say I honestly love you, I mean it!


JT said...

Thought provoking. I believe this is more than adequate backing for the old saying, "the truth hurts," but you'd better be ready to tell the technical truth (lie) to old ladies. But as for those needing to be awakened from their reveries - be they friend or stranger - let fly w/ the Truth, man.

Karina said...

I like your point of view.
I believe that saying the truth is always better even though it might hurts a little bit sometimes... It is a valuable way to know ourselves better. However in the other hand I notice that a lot of people (if not most of us) are not prepared to hear the truth. Doesn't it sound contradictory? We say we want people to be honest with us... but sometimes when it happens we don't know what to do or what to say.
Take care :)