My, oh my, here I am once again, bringing you, my three or four readers, happiness and joy. Right now I have the enormous task to write a blog about my trip to North Carolina I took this past weekend. I'm not sure how I'm going to do this, it could get really long, and even when the trip was really awesome, for you losers who stayed here suffering temperatures of over 100 degrees, it could get a bit boring. I also don't want you to start resenting me. The narration is not my only problem, you see, at the end of the trip there were over 1200 pictures taken, and I'm not kidding. There were about 6 digital cameras taking pictures at all times. But I like it that way, I like the chaos that the excess of information generates. I just went thought all the pics and it was almost like starting the trip all over again. I guess I will go chronologically using the pics and talking a bit about each situation. Alrighty then, here we go.
I. I'M ON A PLANE, I CAN'T COMPLAIN
For those of you who don't know (probably all of you except for Kristen and Jason) my brother got married this past Saturday, so I had to go to the wedding, of course. My task? The usual: dress to kill.
Since every time I have to take a plane I barely make it or don't make it at all (...), I decided to wake up extremely early so I could be at the airport at least 3 hours before my plane took off. The new 'Security Measures for the Easily Fooled', where some people make sure they get your shampoo and toothpaste, was also a factor in my decision. So I woke up really early but fell asleep again and I ended getting to the airport an hour and a half later than I expected. Oh well, I still got in the plane with no inconveniences. My parents picked me up and then inmediately after that we had to go shopping for party crap for the bachelorette party. I was put in charge with my mom and sister. We went to a couple of party places but they didn't have the stuff they were looking for, you know, the dirty stuff with penises. So we finally got directions to the porno store. I got to say that it was kinda odd shopping around with my mom and my little sister in a place where vibrators, lubes, double-ended dildoes, and such, were surrounding us, but I just took it in a very professional way, I guess.
II. SEX, DRUGS, AND ROCK & ROLL
I. I'M ON A PLANE, I CAN'T COMPLAIN
For those of you who don't know (probably all of you except for Kristen and Jason) my brother got married this past Saturday, so I had to go to the wedding, of course. My task? The usual: dress to kill.
Since every time I have to take a plane I barely make it or don't make it at all (...), I decided to wake up extremely early so I could be at the airport at least 3 hours before my plane took off. The new 'Security Measures for the Easily Fooled', where some people make sure they get your shampoo and toothpaste, was also a factor in my decision. So I woke up really early but fell asleep again and I ended getting to the airport an hour and a half later than I expected. Oh well, I still got in the plane with no inconveniences. My parents picked me up and then inmediately after that we had to go shopping for party crap for the bachelorette party. I was put in charge with my mom and sister. We went to a couple of party places but they didn't have the stuff they were looking for, you know, the dirty stuff with penises. So we finally got directions to the porno store. I got to say that it was kinda odd shopping around with my mom and my little sister in a place where vibrators, lubes, double-ended dildoes, and such, were surrounding us, but I just took it in a very professional way, I guess.
II. SEX, DRUGS, AND ROCK & ROLL
After shopping for party items with little plastic penises attached to them, my parents dropped me off at my brother's apartment on their way to their hotel room. That night the bachelor's party was also taking place, but before heading out we relaxed in the apartment, talking and smoking with old friends who came from all over, even Europe (the best man lives in Spain). This is the moment when the cameras started taking pictures.
After a couple of hours, some of our friends headed toward the ghetto to... hmm, let just say to get some party goodies... I stayed with a friend in the apartment and we surfed the almighty YouTube in search of funny videos. When our friends came back they informed us the situation got really scary in the ghetto, but they accomplished the mission, weeeeeee!
I don't really understand bachelor parties. What's their point? Are they done because you're supposed to miss being free and going to the places where assholes go? I don't know. The 'parties' were already arranged so there was no point in me trying to change the plans. The girls were going to stay at another apartment and play games with little plastic penises, and the guys were going to go to Hooters, have a couple of drinks, and then go to a strip bar.
So we went to Hooters, took pictures with girls in trashy skimpy uniforms and had a couple of drinks. Needless to say, I just had water, well, not really, but you know what I mean.
After Hooters we went to a place called Thee DollHouse. The fucking tittie bars are expensive any-fucking-where, and because I wasn't wearing a shirt with a collar they made me pay 4 more dollars so I could wear another fucking t-shirt with the place's logo. The only size they had was XL, go figure. I was kinda tired and I kinda hate strip bars and the people that go to those places. I was the only one with my back to the main stage but there was another stage in front of me, and I could see all the girlies rubbing themselves to the fat old bald men on the tables. Every one seemed to be into checking out the girls, but as the minutes passed by I started getting more and more uncomfortable and bored. Having a bunch of naked girlies around you, dancing for you, rubbing on you, and then going home all horny is not my concept of fun, but the real reason I don't like strip clubs are social reasons that are little bit more serious. After just thirty minutes inside the place I decided to head out with my oversized t-shirt and wait the the car the remaining hour and a half.
This is me in my over-sized t-shirt while waiting in the car:
After we left the tittie bar we went home and talked and listened to good music. We ended up going to bed around 5AM. For some reason my luggage was at the hotel room during my whole stay but I spent every night at my brother's with my friends, so every night I went to bed (a mattress on the floor shared with another person) fully dressed.
III. APHRODISIACS BEFORE HITTING THE ROAD.
Friday night we attended the wedding dinner. We went to this place that specializes in oysters and seafood. I had the buffallo fried oysters appetizer, which sucked, but it was nice being with old friends. During dinner my cousing Charo and our friend Maria Alejandra, better known as Breeders, arrived from Miami and New York respectively.
After dinner, we decided to go out, so we roamed the streets of Raleigh and we went to the 'coolest' place there. Friday night at the coolest place means there are about 5 people there. We went to another place and this one was actually a little packed.
At 2AM some of us went home, but my brother and some of the other visitors went to some house party. The only thing I remember people said about that party was that "in that place they listened to Ace of Base and were proud of it".
Here is a pic from that party:
And then back home sleeping fully clothed:
IV. IT'S A NICE DAY FOR A WHITE WEDDING
a) Dressed To Kill
Saturday, the big day. My dad picked me up early and I went to the hotel and slept a bit more, then I showered and got dressed. The wedding was at 7:30PM.
b) Before The Event.
We arrived where the wedding was taking place a couple of hours before so we could place certain items and let the professional photographers take pictures. The location was a very nice place by a lake.
c) Wedding Bells
We, the Inserny brothers, are kinda quirky and we like doing little odd things, like for example, letting a dog carry the wedding rings or having my university graduation party as a Hawaiian-style party.
We are also cursed, and something will always go wrong whenever we try do something that requires organization, in this occasion, the friend who had the documents my brother and his girlfriend had to sign got there after the ceremony was over. It was a little bit disorganized, but it was cool. I think it was a typical Inserny Bros wedding. I got to say that witnessing my younger brother getting married was a bit surreal. I guess it happens every time a friend gets married. I don't know what it is, maybe it's the sentation that we're getting old, which it's never expected, or the feeling that for me time stopped after I turned seventeen. I'm a little worried, but so far so good, I've had plenty fun.
d) The Reception
The party was held at a Italian restaurant. Good vibes, good music, good music, good old friends. Good times!
I even danced merengue!
e) The Hat
We crazy Venezuelans like to do this thing with silly hats at weddings, and I had forgotten that before going to the porno store with my mom and sister, I had bought a hat that I thought was cool. Well, it seems it wasn't just cool, it was the coolest!
But there are drawbacks to having the coolest hat and looking super-pimp at a wedding party. People kept asking me to have my cool glamorous hat, and others even tried to steal it from me, and every-fucking-body wanted a glamorous picture taken with the dude wearing the cool hat.
Yeah, that's a chicken-hat my brother is wearing.
f) Rock n Roll All Night And Party Every Day
Not much to say here, really. The party took its course and it got really wild. Fun stuff.
I believe the party was a success.
g) The Show Must Go On
After 2AM, when we were kicked out of the restaurant we resumed the party at my brother's apartment. As soon as we got there my brother took all his clothes and stayed in boxers.
... and socks.
Due to the music selection he then proceed to do a little performance imitating... well, I'm just going to use Photoshop to give you clue at the end of this sequence. Maybe, just maybe, you might get it.
And the clue is:
Hahaha. If you don't know you should stop listening to Nickelback.
After my brother's performance most of the girls at the party decided they wanted to give a performance and they all started rocking out to good ol' GN'R.
For some odd reason they asked me to join in so I rocked out a little too.
And then we kept partying until everybody left.
Even Clementina was partying.
Then back to sleep fully clothed. I have to say that as usual, we slept with the newlyweds, and this time, there was even a few drunk friends in their bed, haha.
V. AFTER THE STORM
The next day I went to the hotel and sleep a whole lot. The other guys had a BBQ by the pool. I got there later and ate some chicken.
Nobody has been able to explain this picture, but I think it's pure art.
We went to the apartment once again and later went out for pizza, coffee, and doughnuts. The chips on the cameras were full, or the batteries dead by now, so there are not many pics from this day.
Sunday we went to bed early.
VI. BYE UNTIL NEXT TIME.
We woke up by 9AM or so, and they dropped me off. The newlyweds and my friends went to the beach, and then to New York, and they all are going to have a blast. I came back to Hell City. At least this time there was a few good things waiting for me here.
F I N
ps. I haven't re-read or spell-checked this bitch, so if you read something terrible look the other way.
After a couple of hours, some of our friends headed toward the ghetto to... hmm, let just say to get some party goodies... I stayed with a friend in the apartment and we surfed the almighty YouTube in search of funny videos. When our friends came back they informed us the situation got really scary in the ghetto, but they accomplished the mission, weeeeeee!
I don't really understand bachelor parties. What's their point? Are they done because you're supposed to miss being free and going to the places where assholes go? I don't know. The 'parties' were already arranged so there was no point in me trying to change the plans. The girls were going to stay at another apartment and play games with little plastic penises, and the guys were going to go to Hooters, have a couple of drinks, and then go to a strip bar.
So we went to Hooters, took pictures with girls in trashy skimpy uniforms and had a couple of drinks. Needless to say, I just had water, well, not really, but you know what I mean.
After Hooters we went to a place called Thee DollHouse. The fucking tittie bars are expensive any-fucking-where, and because I wasn't wearing a shirt with a collar they made me pay 4 more dollars so I could wear another fucking t-shirt with the place's logo. The only size they had was XL, go figure. I was kinda tired and I kinda hate strip bars and the people that go to those places. I was the only one with my back to the main stage but there was another stage in front of me, and I could see all the girlies rubbing themselves to the fat old bald men on the tables. Every one seemed to be into checking out the girls, but as the minutes passed by I started getting more and more uncomfortable and bored. Having a bunch of naked girlies around you, dancing for you, rubbing on you, and then going home all horny is not my concept of fun, but the real reason I don't like strip clubs are social reasons that are little bit more serious. After just thirty minutes inside the place I decided to head out with my oversized t-shirt and wait the the car the remaining hour and a half.
This is me in my over-sized t-shirt while waiting in the car:
After we left the tittie bar we went home and talked and listened to good music. We ended up going to bed around 5AM. For some reason my luggage was at the hotel room during my whole stay but I spent every night at my brother's with my friends, so every night I went to bed (a mattress on the floor shared with another person) fully dressed.
III. APHRODISIACS BEFORE HITTING THE ROAD.
Friday night we attended the wedding dinner. We went to this place that specializes in oysters and seafood. I had the buffallo fried oysters appetizer, which sucked, but it was nice being with old friends. During dinner my cousing Charo and our friend Maria Alejandra, better known as Breeders, arrived from Miami and New York respectively.
After dinner, we decided to go out, so we roamed the streets of Raleigh and we went to the 'coolest' place there. Friday night at the coolest place means there are about 5 people there. We went to another place and this one was actually a little packed.
At 2AM some of us went home, but my brother and some of the other visitors went to some house party. The only thing I remember people said about that party was that "in that place they listened to Ace of Base and were proud of it".
Here is a pic from that party:
And then back home sleeping fully clothed:
IV. IT'S A NICE DAY FOR A WHITE WEDDING
a) Dressed To Kill
Saturday, the big day. My dad picked me up early and I went to the hotel and slept a bit more, then I showered and got dressed. The wedding was at 7:30PM.
b) Before The Event.
We arrived where the wedding was taking place a couple of hours before so we could place certain items and let the professional photographers take pictures. The location was a very nice place by a lake.
c) Wedding Bells
We, the Inserny brothers, are kinda quirky and we like doing little odd things, like for example, letting a dog carry the wedding rings or having my university graduation party as a Hawaiian-style party.
We are also cursed, and something will always go wrong whenever we try do something that requires organization, in this occasion, the friend who had the documents my brother and his girlfriend had to sign got there after the ceremony was over. It was a little bit disorganized, but it was cool. I think it was a typical Inserny Bros wedding. I got to say that witnessing my younger brother getting married was a bit surreal. I guess it happens every time a friend gets married. I don't know what it is, maybe it's the sentation that we're getting old, which it's never expected, or the feeling that for me time stopped after I turned seventeen. I'm a little worried, but so far so good, I've had plenty fun.
d) The Reception
The party was held at a Italian restaurant. Good vibes, good music, good music, good old friends. Good times!
I even danced merengue!
e) The Hat
We crazy Venezuelans like to do this thing with silly hats at weddings, and I had forgotten that before going to the porno store with my mom and sister, I had bought a hat that I thought was cool. Well, it seems it wasn't just cool, it was the coolest!
But there are drawbacks to having the coolest hat and looking super-pimp at a wedding party. People kept asking me to have my cool glamorous hat, and others even tried to steal it from me, and every-fucking-body wanted a glamorous picture taken with the dude wearing the cool hat.
Yeah, that's a chicken-hat my brother is wearing.
f) Rock n Roll All Night And Party Every Day
Not much to say here, really. The party took its course and it got really wild. Fun stuff.
I believe the party was a success.
g) The Show Must Go On
After 2AM, when we were kicked out of the restaurant we resumed the party at my brother's apartment. As soon as we got there my brother took all his clothes and stayed in boxers.
... and socks.
Due to the music selection he then proceed to do a little performance imitating... well, I'm just going to use Photoshop to give you clue at the end of this sequence. Maybe, just maybe, you might get it.
And the clue is:
Hahaha. If you don't know you should stop listening to Nickelback.
After my brother's performance most of the girls at the party decided they wanted to give a performance and they all started rocking out to good ol' GN'R.
For some odd reason they asked me to join in so I rocked out a little too.
And then we kept partying until everybody left.
Even Clementina was partying.
Then back to sleep fully clothed. I have to say that as usual, we slept with the newlyweds, and this time, there was even a few drunk friends in their bed, haha.
V. AFTER THE STORM
The next day I went to the hotel and sleep a whole lot. The other guys had a BBQ by the pool. I got there later and ate some chicken.
Nobody has been able to explain this picture, but I think it's pure art.
We went to the apartment once again and later went out for pizza, coffee, and doughnuts. The chips on the cameras were full, or the batteries dead by now, so there are not many pics from this day.
Sunday we went to bed early.
VI. BYE UNTIL NEXT TIME.
We woke up by 9AM or so, and they dropped me off. The newlyweds and my friends went to the beach, and then to New York, and they all are going to have a blast. I came back to Hell City. At least this time there was a few good things waiting for me here.
F I N
ps. I haven't re-read or spell-checked this bitch, so if you read something terrible look the other way.
No comments:
Post a Comment