USELESS THOUGHT OF THE DAY XXXVII: The Other Nipple Incident

Originally posted December 9th, 2008 at 6:26AM
 


Last night, in the middle of my feverish delirium, I decided to play around and take a picture of one of my nipples, just for fun. My head and bones had been hurting for two days straight, and I've been pretty much in bed bored out of my mind. Under these circumstances, it is natural one does things like taking pictures of ones nipples.

I took the best close up I could, and then I added some effects with my phone. I called it 'El Carelo', which means something like 'The Headlight'. In Venezuela, when we notice that 'a girl is cold', if you know what I mean, we say 'she has the headlights turned on'.

Well, I went to bed, and woke up like 5 or 6 times during the night. All because of nightmares that I believe were caused by all the crap I ate last night. When I finally gave up on sleeping and decided to log on to MySpace I saw I had a message. Wonderful! People don't contact me that much anymore, not even to thank me for my awesome 'Happy Mornings' and 'NewMusic4U' bulletins, so messages are always welcomed. What I found was a message from the MySpace Help Desk. It read as following:



We had to remove an image (or images) from your account because they violated our Terms of Use. Our site is for people as young as 13, so we can't have certain kinds of pics (nude/sexually explicit, violence,
material protected by copyright). Find out more about content we don’t
allow at http://www.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=misc.terms. If you continue to violate our Terms, we may be forced to remove your account.

If you find an image which you feel is in violation of our Terms, please
feel free to use the 'report image' link below the image.

Thanks for your understanding.

MySpace Safety & Security



Thanks for my understanding? No, I don't fucking understand. I see millions of cheasy shirtless guys and barely naked women pictures all the time. I see parts of female nipples, and sometimes I almost see their cooschs. But it's me who is violating the Terms? Am I also gonna be banned for writing the word 'fuck' on MySpace? Fuck that!

So it's OK to show two male nipples and almost naked women and gore and people puking, but it's not OK to show one single distorted male nipple? Nope, I don't understand.

I remember the Superbowl incident with Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake. I was watching it live when it happened. When I saw it my brain didn't have the time to think 'oh' before I forgot about it, but the next day the incident was blown out of proportion by 'the offended parents of America'. It was nothing! Your kids are not gonna become perverts for seeing a nipple. It's part of the human anatomy, and lots of people suck on one when they are babies. What's turning your kids into freaks is your overprotection, because the minute you turned something like that into a taboo, you are planting the weird seed represion on them, making the natural unnatural. Yes, there are not supposed to be tits at the superbowl, just a bunch of gorillas hitting each other, so just don't invite these artists next time, and forget about it. You don't need to turn it into a big deal.

Well, whatever, I don't care how you educate your kids, I know how I will educate mine, and they are going to be cooler than yours.

Now, here's the famous nipple pic (with a link to download the picture below, just in case MySpace also bans it again).

Devolution

It's really hard to believe that we are well into the 2000's and have advanced so much technologically and scientifically, especially during the past 100 years, yet there are still groups of people who not only can't accept something as basic as evolution, but who would want to push down our throats their silly beliefs. I wonder sometimes how these people will just accept what they've been told, no matter how ridiculous it is.

I'm not a biologist or an expert in the matter, in fact, what I know about evolution is pretty basic, but I think there's a way to explain evolution without any scientific terms in such way than even a first grader will understand. Are you ready? Alrighty, hold my hand: we have primitive specie A. There's a lot about A but right now we will just concentrate in the fact that some A's have longer legs than others, just like some A's are bigger than others, but let's not get into Smith's theory for now. OK, so A lives in A-Land and they are all happy and stuff. One day, specie B decides to move into A-Land. There's space for everyone, the problem is that B loves eating A, so they start chasing and hunting them. Since A is a weaker specie all they can do to defend themselves is run. For obvious reason, A's with longer legs run faster therefore, more longer legs A's scape the attacks of B's. After a while, there are many more longer legs A's than shorter legs A's, so more longer legs A's couples are made. After a few generations of mainly longer legs with longer legs sweet sex and B eating the shorter legs A's, we'll have many more longer legs A's babies, and eventually, there will be only longer legs A's. Ta daa! Specie A has evolved. See? There was no magic, not strange mutation that happened out of the blue, nothing weird, just a change induced by the environment, and it makes total sense, we don't need Darwin to come back from the death and explain us.

If I want to get more hardcore evidence and data, I can just go to the library or ask the holder of all knowledge, Google, and there I will find be tons of stuff. There's so much evidence that if you still can't accept it, you should ask yourself if there's something wrong with you. But you know what's the best argument the Fundies have against evolution? It starts with "the Bible says". After they say that you know there's no point in discussing anything. Sometimes I just pretend I agree, but it's frustrating. And this is what bothers me the most: they only represent an insignificant percentage of Christianity. This means that to them, all the other Christians, including the oldest and biggest Christian group, the Catholics, are wrong. These people, who have studied your scriptures for thousands of years, are wrong. They must all be a bunch of uninvolved monkeys, eh? "Well, but the Catholics are fucked, look what they've done". My friend, you give any man or institution that much power for that long and at some point really fucked up things will happen, I can guarantee you. But don't get me wrong, if it was up to me, I'd ban most organized religions. I think they become evil even when they have the best intentions.

Now, having this minority of brainwashed robots is one thing, but the fact that they have enough power to make a state of the US teach Creationism in school is unforgivable. I'm sorry politics and I'm sorry Democracy (which should be called "Democracy" in such case), but spreading ignorance to the most vulnerable part of the population should be a crime and you should go to jail. And if there's really a god and hell and all that, then you should go to hell, because your god must also think that's a sin. It's a terrible thing what you're trying to do.

Believe in anything you want, Christianity is certainly mild compared to other way crazier and even laughable religions and cults, but be responsible with what you believe, starting with yourself. Think rationally and don't be afraid to question your own beliefs.

If you don't think that there's at least a small chance everything you believe in, or think of, is wrong, you're probably already wrong.

Amen. 


ps. I hope you two or three people that read my awesome blogs have enjoyed my useless thought of the day. And if you're a Christian Fundamentalist, forgive me.

Spanish Lesson: Vuelve A Mi by Hombres G

Today, and from now on, I'll be your Spanish instructor using songs that I love in Spanish. The two or three people who read this blog will benefit from my lessons every once in a while. You can't deny that Spanish lessons + good music ain't a good thing, eh?

Here's the original song. I wrote the lyrics in Spanish under, followed by the translation.





Hombres G - Vuelve A Mi
(By the way, the G in Hombres G, or Men G, is not for "gay", but if it was I wouldn't mind. Their name came from a very old spy movie called The Men G, or The G Men, or something like that).

Recuerdo que las cosas
se estaban poniendo mal
después de tanto tiempo
nos dejamos de hablar
sólo por que soy bajito
y no se bailar break-dance.

Recuerdo que llegabas
siempre tarde a nuestro pub
y yo por llegar antes
me quedaba sin merendar
ahora no como nada
porque sin ti no puedo estar.

Por favor vuelve a mí
nos iremos a bailar
de verdad, he aprendido
a bailar break-dance
por favor, llámame a la hora de comer
ya lo sabes, estoy aquí
pregúntale a quien quieras
por mí.

Te dirán que estoy sentado
apoyado en la barra de un bar
deprimido y amargado
sin beber y sin hablar
cómo pudistes hacerlo
irte con otro sin avisar.

Aún no he comprendido cómo te fuistes con ése,
él será más guapo
pero yo tengo mas mala leche
y aun que soy pequeño
valgo yo más quinientas veces.

Por favor vuelve a mí
nos iremos a bailar
de verdad, he aprendido
a bailar break-dance
por favor, llámame a la hora de comer
ya lo sabes, estoy aquí
pregúntale a quien quieras
por mí

Vuelve a mí...

Translation

Men G - Come Back To Me

I remember that things
were getting bad
after so much time
we stopped talking
just because I'm short
and don't know how to break dance.

I remember you were always arrived
late to our pub
and since I wanted to be early
ended up not having lunch
now I don't eat anything
because I don't want to be without you.

Please, come back to me
we'll go dancing
it's true, I've learned
how to break-dance
Please, call me at lunch time
now you know it, I'm here
ask anyone about me.

They'll tell you I'm sitting down
leaned against the bar
depressed and bitter
without drinking and without talking
how could you have done it
left with another without telling.

I still haven't comprehended how you left with that one
he may be more handsome
but I have more bad milk (bad milk is a slang which means bad luck. Milk is a reference to sperm)
and even though I'm small
I worth 500 times more.


Please, come back to me
we'll go dancing
it's true, I've learned
how to break-dance
Please, call me at lunch time
now you know it, I'm here
ask anyone about me.

Come back to me.