USELESS THOUGHT OF THE DAY XIX: Fear & Loathing in N.O. (It's a... nice day to... start again)

Originally posted Nobember 1st, 2005 at 11:40PM

As some of you know, I went New Orleans this weekend to attend a wedding. It was the wedding of Angela and Brian. Yes, Brian Taylor, my best friend. Perhaps not everybody (the three or four of you who still read my blogs) is thrilled to hear about this, but at least there's some cool pics. Fuck, to tell you the truth, I wasn't very thrilled myself when I heard that I had to go to a wedding in some plantation in the middle of nowhere. Soon I discovered a very pleasant surprise awaited.

Most of you think I left Sunday. I was supposed to drive with Neal there, but at the very last minute Neal decided to go the next day by plane, and he offered to pay for my ticket, so even when it was going to be a very interesting journey a lá Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas, I was happy to accept. I didn't tell anyone about my change of plans and decided to clean my place so I didn't have to do it after the event. Not only I cleaned my place, but I also got a call from New York telling me I had to finish this music I'm doing for a TV station over there, so I worked my ass and when I checked the time it was 6:00AM on the day of Halloween. Our plane left at 8:30AM, and when Neal called me and told me he didn't sleep either cause he was working as well, I knew what would follow: madness. I'm not getting into details here, but from the time I started freaking out, to the moment we got there was pretty close to the movie mentioned before. OK, let me summarize it for the three of you: freak out, tried about all my pants on, packed the essentials (my leather jacket, a tie, my camera, and my cellphone), went to pick Neal up, waited, drove dangerously to the airport, got on the plane, fell asleep for an hour, got out the plane, stand in line to rent a car, Neal fall asleep standing up, rented the car, car's battery is dead, got a better car, confusion while driving in the city, stop by Popeyes, rednecks making fun of us, ate a lot, got in the gas station, got chocolate, coffee, and cookies, stomach ache, the feeling we were lost surrounded by cult members, got there, rock n' roll.

So we get there around 2:00 or 3:00PM. By that time I've been awake for 26 or 27 hours. I didn't pack any clothes because I was one of the groom's men and Brian got a suit for me. Actually, I didn’t pack anything because I didn’t have time, but what the fuck. Due to the lack of sleep I was spacing out, but there was still a lot of work to do before the wedding, so we helped a bit, and around 4PM I decided to try the suit on. He got it right on! This is the moment when our cameras began to take the pictures.

28 hours without sleep and still looking sharp, cool!

The place where the wedding took place was in this beautiful mansion called the Hauma's House, and just by walking around it (cause we parked on the opposite side, really far away from we were supposed to) made me feel a little better about the whole thing. The wedding was at 5PM, and like I said before, I was one of the groom's men, but I've never been one before and I was spacing out, so I was a little confused about what I was supposed to do (fuck, I'm so glad I didn't have to be the reverend, cause he actually asked me if I wanted to be), so I just followed the others and tried to look confident and pretty. I think I at least looked pretty.

I've been to 3 or 4 weddings in my life, including one on Halloween, but none of them have left an impression before. This one did. It was so awesome, and I know it wasn't just because I was spacing out and thinking about the Little Prince that I say this. I was touched. Everything was perfect, even the air I was breathing. I was so happy; proud and happy for him, but a little worried for myself. Brian is a different man now, I mean, he's the same, but very different deep down inside. You'd have to know him as well as I do to be able to tell, but I know. He's come a long way, and I'm so proud of him. He couldn't have found a better match than Angela: she really rocks. I don't really want to spend this blog writing adjectives to describe her cause I could go on and on, so let's leave it at that. She rocks!!!

So let's present them now:

So, one thing I noticed about their wedding vows was that if you add music to them it could have been a Bon Jovi song. I mentioned this to Brian after the ceremony, and Angela, who was very close, overheard what I said and gave me a thump-up and said: "cool!, yeah!". I'd forgotten she liked the music from those glorious days, and like I said, she rocks. I actually think that everybody secretly loves the cheese and I don't think there's anything wrong with it. You guys need to accept the cheese in your lives. All of you all need the cheese once in a while, and there's nothing wrong with enjoying 'I'll Be There For You' or 'Never Say Goodbye'. Deny it all you want, I know you love it. I'll be there when you get married to remind you how Bon Jovi your vows were, just wait and see.

After the ceremony there were a lot of activities that involved the groom's men so I had to manage doing all these things while trying to look natural. Taking pictures, slow dancing with a stranger, and cheering. I had a glass of Champaign and felt I was about to pass out. The rest of the evening I was artificially awake. The food was great but I was too full from Popeyes and the chocolate, so I had strawberries and grapes.

Neal thought there was something odd about the way Brian looked, so I'm going to use the magic of Photoshop to see if you guys see the same thing:

About 10:30PM Brian started talking with big words, and every time someone mentioned the wedding was great he would reply with something about Warsaw, or with some obscure historical event. He was drunk. He managed to stay on foot, although, with every minute, he looked more and more like an acrobat walking on the rope. When I mentioned to him the little detail that we didn't have a place to stay, and that I was too broke to pay for anything anyways, he put his hand inside his jacket and took all the money that people had given him out and gave it to me. I gave it to Angela later on, of course, hehe, what a fucker! Oh! by the way, the motherfuckers are going to Thailand for their honeymoon! Fuckers! I've always been like the default third wheel for Brian and whoever he was with when we used to hang out, so they need to take me! Plus, over there prostitutes are cheap, so I'm sure I can get a nice young lady for myself, hahahaha.

After most people left the party, Neal and I were faced by our little dilemma. Our plane left at 1PM, but we didn't have a place to stay, so we had three options:

1. Sleep in the car
2. Stay awake until 5:00AM and try to catch the earliest flight
3. Drive back

While Brian sang With or Without You (and many other songs) to Angela, we were trying to decide what to do. As crazy as it sounds we chose to drive back, but just minutes before we were going to get in the car the food attacked Neal and he ran into the bathroom. I would not see him until next morning.

When Angela and Brian came back, Angela and I were left with an incoherent/stumbling groom and a trip-mate who would not come out of the bathroom. The decision was to spend the night with the newlyweds! I grabbed the air mattress, went backstage, and turned all those damn lights on, cause it was cold and the lights were warm. The next morning I was told there was actually a thermostat. I think I caught a cold, hahaha.

I woke up the next morning and saw Neal sleeping on a chair. We took the guys to the airport and then got on the plane an hour after them. Now back to Houston, back to this, back to reality. Unfortunately, there's no fairy tales waiting for me here. However, I have and answer and an action for everything, and I just discovered to they sound very cool together:

Fuck it,
Let's keep rockin'!


35 hours after I left my place and I still look cool and clean.

Mission Acomplished!





F I N

#FollowFriday Archive (Follow The Cream)

Every Friday, I handpick 3 or 4 of the people I follow and suggest them to my followers so they can also enjoy following them. I explain why these chosen ones should be followed, so I don't waste your time. I just like to pimp well my bitches, you see.

It took me a while to compile all the #followfridays I've posted so far, but I did it (fucking Twitter search sucks ass), and now I am posting it here, because I don't like to mention the same people every fucking Friday, like some do. This will be an ongoing blog, that I'll update after each week's #followfriday posts, that way, you can just come here and and check out my recommendations. And these are really good recommendations.

You're welcome.

#followfriday, here we go, 1. @robgokeemusic great composer & my social media mentor. I wanna be as rich as he is so I can meet Jesus too.

#followfriday 2. @angelobell he’s @robgokeemusic’s drinking parter & has Absynth to share w/friends. Fun and helpful Tweep.

#followfriday 3. @stbo he’s a philosopher from Norway. Always has something interesting to say. I really enjoy his posts. Next week, 3 more!

#followfriday bonus: @Shawnaaa she’s one of my best friends, but she’s Twitter shy. Add that bitch to break her into this cult!

#followfriday @alanjmcgee best taste in music in the world, Creation Records, gave me my favorite band JAMC, supporter of Glasvegas! <3>

Next is a group of people you MUST add together, I’ll explain later @jengrly @farwyde @TechBabe @TheUserPool #followfriday

Follow @hethfen she’s hot, British, funny, smart, amazing violinist, & works making music & sound for film & TV. What else can you ask for?

Follow @hethfen I’ll give her double love cuz I forgot the hashstash #followfriday

Follow @kingofgrief He’s one of the best Djs of independent Houston radio & old supporter of The Watermarks. #followfriday

My #followfriday 1) @heatherpray good old friend & very involved with the Houston Arts. She used to be the president of The Cure’s Fan Club.

2) @ianshepherd If you are an Audio Engineer or an artist then you should follow him. Very good advice and information. #followfriday

3) @disinfo Weird news, things you’re not supposed to know, information, fun, conspiracies, etc, etc, etc. #followfriday.

#followfriday bonuses: @mephjeff well, he's the devil, which makes him my father since I'm the Anti-Christ. @DandyId IMO a really good idea.

Another bonus #followfriday @Ladyheat great rock & roll band, awesome performers, fun guys, Watermarks tour buddies, re-locating to LA soon

#followfriday @TXjoe guitar player & producer/engineer for Ladyheat. Tour buddy of The Watermarks. Smart, funny, and great performer.

#followfriday @futuremusicmag while I was wasting my $ on college I was learning most of what I know through UK's Future & Computer Music <3 title="#followfriday" href="http://twitter.com/search?q=%23followfriday">if I can add a late #followfriday then follow @alvaro bc he's simply a really cool & badass motherfucker. Seriously. Music, film, art, life.

#followfriday @timTech multitasker, jack of all trades, video guy, blogger, good taste in music, good conversations.

#followfriday @lisisilveira a kind and wonderful soul, a good friend who knows a lot about Samba, Caipirinhas, and Pele.

#followfriday @ianshepherd I followfridayed him before but deserves a 2nd time. Best music production advice & music related stuff on Twitter.

#followfriday @Honeypott310 a very naughty nanny in LA :) Explicit content, follow at your own discretion. Every week she followfridays me.

1. Follow @amirmotlagh a film director in LA, helpful & smart. He’s directing feature film Whale. IDK if relates to failwhale #followfriday

2. @OhYoko a stylist, in fact, the stylist for many celebrities & future stylist for The Watermarks. Fun & good taste in music #followfriday

3. @LolaJRS she's fun & she’s part of the SpaceTaker team, who are a group of people helping the Art Scene in Houston. #followfriday

Bonus: @earthbirdmusic fun, smart, sarcastic, insomniac, seriously extreme knob tweaker/sound designer from Austin #followfriday

#followfriday @floraisadora She's a wild flower. She's also irreverent, vegan, cultured, intellectual, & a Gemini... a complete package.

#followfriday @TXjoe @waynemeza @BLKSTKS They’re all members of Ladyheat. Blake should bring back the golden spandex mini shorts w/a thong.

#followfriday @alliecine extreme-hardworking filmmaker. Just discovered she likes great music. @robgokeemusic & her play Twitmaginary games.

#followfriday @filmscoregeek Wanna talk abt film? Abt music? What abt both at the same time? Then fllw someone who makes music for film! :)

05/29/09

1. #followfriday @Dr0id An amazing video editor, have you seen this person's work? Really good shit. Plus, good taste in music and film.

2. #followfriday @The_Leedog Houston musician/music supporter.Don't know much abt him, I know he never posts #ff's on Fridays. He's cool, tho!

3. #followfriday @713punky Doesn't like to be called hipster but she's really hip & fun. Works for electronic music label associated w/Sony.

#followfriday bonus: follow @2loose_buzzgoth for some cool electro/dark wave music and good music conversations in English and Portuguese.

06/12/09

#ff @TheWatermarks because it's my band, it rocks, & offer our music for free. & unlike me, we don't tweet much. This is my 1st self #ff.

#ff @artistshouse they have excellent advice for indie bands. Anything from mark***ng, to music, etc. If you're in a band this is a must.

#ff @Leksi she's a cute young smart girl with a filthy sense of humor. That's all I know. Follow her for a good and fun chat.

#ff @2995 they are a cool new entertainment Houston site. just go check www.29-95.com (I just found out that Holy Fuck is playing tonite!)

06/19/09

1. #ff Follow @freddietastic because she's a very friendly & smart girl from Indonesia who appreciates great music. You'll have a good talk.

2. #ff Follow @Capacid especially if you are a musician/artist. They are a music based social network where you can promote your work.

3. #ff Follow @artistspaid & @sentricmusic because they have excellent news and advice posts on music and music industry.

Bonus #ff Follow @danbozek because he's a great audio engineer from Pittsburgh, who will talk to you about music and any other subject.

08/14/09

1. #ff Follow @iFreddie because she's a great conversationalist, a caring person, and has excellent taste in music!

2. #ff Follow @JAMCofficial because they are my favorite band, just joined Twitter, & they rock! http://bit.ly/18KIqP

3. #ff Follow @WoodyRadio because they are an iTunes radio station that will make you rock hard & support #indie artists. Seriously!

08/21/09

#ff 1. Follow @jessicattivo she's the new Watermarks keyboard player extraordinaire. Classical trained cellist. Smart, fun, cute future rockstar.

#ff 2. follow @karlabry I don't know where's she's from, but I can tell you she's cool and great to talk to. She'll be a pro-writer soon.

#ff 3. @SarahHorvat awesome artist/illustrator. Chocolate/photography/good things lover. She's really into striped chesty jumpsuits.

Addendum To: Twitter Etiquette According To ce54r

I missed a few tips or "rules" on my last post, but fear not, my friends, because I am here to guide you through the Twitterverse so you don't end up looking like an ass.

Shall we begin?

a. Stop posting links. I'm not sure how I missed this one, since it's so obvious. Perhaps it was because I kinda talked about it. Either way, some Twitter accounts are supposed to post links, that's why they are called "funny videos" or "bizarre news", but if the account is a "human" account, then post something about you or what you do, otherwise it will be another boring linker Twitter profile.

b. Comment on the posts of the people you follow. It happens often that someone who you have no clue what they are about starts following you, so you don't start following right away and wait until this person writes something that will give you any hint about who they are. But they don't. These people should at least @reply you to show they have interest in what you have to say. If you start following anyone, even if they don't follow you back right away, just say something, goddammit! Otherwise we will think you're just blind-following random people and we won't follow you back.

c. Don't look too professional in your avatar, but do have one. Guys in suit and tie freak me out, and girls with modeling pictures scare me. Why? Because these are typically the types of avatar that spammers, linkers, and "social media marketers" use. Same goes with any other too professional looking picture. However, any picture is better than none. There's nothing worse that someone who looks like is hiding from "something". There are too many freaks out there not to be paranoid.

d. Curse. Yes, curse a lot, spice it up. Write fuck, shit, cunt, bitch, asshole, etc. And don't bother to censor your cursing adding lame asterisks. What's the point? Everyone knows you totally meant to say "fuck" if you write "f**k". We all know you have a dirty mind, you're not fooling anyone but yourself. Make sure you check how much you're cursing at cursebird.com. If you are going to censor your cursing, then replace the offending word with one less offensive. For example:

What the frack, instead of "what the fuck".

Bob Saget, instead of "Goddammit".

e. Detail you #followfridays. Every Friday I get to see dozens of people getting "followfridayed", but I have no clue what they do or who they are. You will have to go to each one of those people's profiles and read what the fuck they do, and sometimes that can be a pain in the ass. For this reason, every Friday I decided I was going to only pick 3 people, and give a short description on their background and why other people should start following them. Let's say I like to pimp well my bitches.


That's pretty much it, my darlings. I apologize for being absent minded on my last post.


Your friend always,

Cesar

Twitter Etiquette According To ce54r

I'm sure you have already read several posts on your Twitter timeline about "how to be a successful at Twitter". It seems they never stop, so you get to read over and over again the things that, in my opinion, are rather obvious to anyone who's been on that social network for a little bit. There are no secrets, just common sense. A lot of the people who continuously post links to that kind of information are people who seem to have only one goal: get a shitload of followers, no matter who they are or what they do. Pretty lame.

Well, this won't be another blog about how to attract millions of new followers, but a few basic "rules" to separate yourself from the typical lame-ass that you will constantly find on Twitter. Take in mind that this is my opinion, and it might have an adverse effect on the number of followers you have, but in my eyes at least, you'll be cool. Now, I say "rules" because there are really no rules. It is a social networking site and you can do whatever the fuck you want with your page. Hell, you can have a MySpace profile that's pink and has glitter and stars and things that move all over it, and have huge pictures of you and your friends, and fill up the music, movie, and TV with pictures of your favorite bands, movies, and TV shows, and also have a flashy slideshow with all your hottest pictures, and your favorite YouTube clips all over it too, if you like. You might think it looks awesome and it reflects your personality yaddah yaddah yaddah, just like I've heard many say when I say anything about some people's profile "design".

Anyways, let's cut the crap, these are the things I think you should do to be Twitter cool, in no particular order:

1. Never use automated DM's. Some people might not know this, but it's just lame. Maybe it was fashionable in 2008, I don't know. You might think that sending an automated DM when someone starts following you to say thanks will make you look more polite, or serious, or all the above and also it's a good chance to promote your crap. Nope, it's just lame and so impersonal, I prefer not getting anything. When I do get them I start to think that that person really doesn't give a shit about me, or perhaps is following so many people that they have very little time for me or whatever I have to say. I see more and more people posting about how they dislike automated DM's. Just don't send automated DM's, it sucks. Don't do it to say "thanks for the following", or "sorry about the automated DM, I'll read your shit, I promise", or "hello, you seem cool, here, this is my website and you should check it".

2. Don't ever thank anyone for following you. It doesn't even make sense, so just be an ungrateful motherfucker and never do it in any form (regular post, DM, or their automated variations). Why "thank for the following"? If they are following you it should mean they are already getting something out of you, but if you say thanks it sounds like they are doing you a favor, or that you might be using them for something (to promote your shit). Either way, don't do it, no one will ever judge you for that, but you will get judged (at least by me) if you do it. Same goes with my first point.

3. Don't talk about how many followers you have. That number doesn't mean anything, really, especially if most of your followers are people who don't care what you have to say and all they want is to sell you something. The only time when talking about your number of followers is when you reach 666 followers, but that's because what's important is not the amount, otherwise don't mention it and even less say "OMG, I've reached X thousands of followers! Thank you very much". It doesn't mean you're successful and nobody cares.

4. You don't have to follow every single person who starts following you. First of all, that's dangerous, like the recent Twitter Worm showed. Second of all, a whole lot of spam accounts and "Twitter Marketers" will start following you because they know most people just follow back blindly. They just want a new follower, they could care less about what you post, so they just use you to up their "numbers". It is so obvious, that if you don't follow back, instead of engaging you commenting on any of your posts, they will just unfollow. Lame. The typical Twitter profile for these type of account says something about "social media" or "Internet marketing" on their bio, has links on every single post they make, and some @replies, sometimes they also have many thousands of followers and are following a similar number of people. Be a Twitter snob.

5. For the love of god, stop talking about Internet/Twitter marketing tips! At first I checked out some of the link and after a while I realized they all say pretty much the same shit. I can easily Google marketing tips or even search it on Twitter, so instead of keep posting that crap just say something interesting like "I just changed my tampon" or "my friend just farted and smells".

6. For the love of god, stop talking about how to gain more followers! Most of the links tell you what you already know or tell you a sleazy way to gain followers, or even worse, random followers! Why do I want random followers? I don't. Do you?

7. Don't spread one thought over 3 or 4 posts every single time you say something. The whole point if to post short, concise, to-the-point posts, not to write a whole blog about your life. Every once in a while it's not possible to post something on just one set of 140 characters, and using 2 or 3 it's OK and understandable. But don't do it every time, it's kinda annoying and your posts will most likely be separated by other people's posts blah blah blah.

8. Don't thank for the Re-Tweet. Unless the post they are re-tweeting is promoting you or your company or your band, etc, there's no need to thank them since it's obvious you already gave them a piece of information they consider it's worth sharing, so perhaps they should thank you instead.

9. Don't Re-Tweet like a maniac. I think there's no explanation needed for this one.

10. Be human. A lot of companies are getting on Twitter now, and they are making it completely boring by acting like... a company. I think Twitter is interesting and the most social of all social networking sites because it shows the human side of their users. These companies get on Twitter and will only post links to more crap, which it's OK if it's post 2 or less times a day. Unless you are CNN, or another news network, or a specific Twitter user that says will posts funny videos or pictures or music advice, then don't do it that way. You won't gain anything, it's bad marketing. Make a profile for a person who represents the company (the owner or person in charge would be best) and let this person express his feelings and emotions and share them with the world, as well as some promotion here and there. People do like that much better the constant bombarding of promotional stupid links. This brings me to my next point...

11. Don't be a self-promotional whore. This is probably the one that will keep you from looking like a loser. Let me tell you a story. I stared following this guy who works in an industry that interests me, so I thought following him was good networking. He was alright, lots of RT's and many self-promotional links, and a couple personal posts here and there. One day due to a certain "Festival" he started self-promoting himself like a maniac. Every 20 fucking minutes the dude would re-post the same shit, which consisted on 3 posts, that usually were: a link to his crap (where he also compared his crap with major signed stuff), a link to some obscure article that said he was a "Twitter success", and a RT of someone saying anything good about his crap. He also started talking about how many followers he had and how many more he was gaining that day. The guy seemed to be having a Twitter-gasm, I could almost imagine him with his eyes wide opened having a delusion of grandeur moment, salivating, pulling his hair out. I'm the most patient person in the world but I couldn't take it. I had to unfollow. Maybe he was a nice guy, maybe he will be successful, and maybe I lost a work opportunity (doubt it) but that was exactly the kind of shit that professional bullshiters say all the time and I can't deal with that shit. Moral of the story: promote yourself in moderation. Your posts won't go anywhere, so if three post don't make people check our your shit, one million won't either and will get your ass unfollowed.

So, there it is, at least for now. Many of the "don'ts" I mention here were done by me at some point, and are still done by many of the people I still follow and care about. Not because TechBabe send an automated DM to welcome you to her Twatstream and give you a link to her shit doesn't mean she's not cool. She is cool, and most, if not all the people I follow I consider cool. The fact that they do a couple of little annoying things every once in a while (or even often) doesn't mean I will stop following. We're all human, and we all make mistakes, but that's why I'm doing this, to help you get on the road of Twitter redemption, right? Haha, actually, many (the two or three people that will actually read this) will probably disagree with me on several of the points I make here, so perhaps I'll end up looking like an asshole in the end. And if this is the case, then it will be the perfect opportunity for you to be a friend and help me out just I'm trying to do here.

Now, how do you feel about the ten minutes you just lost reading this?


Love,

Your friend.
Cesar